so a couple months later i was talking to this guy. he was funny and we had some common stuff and alot of mutal friends. He came around mine for 10 minutes with a mate as she needed to get something and me and him spoke for abit. we started talking alot, and then we got really close me and him had a few hookups and then i found out he was the bestfriend of the guy i had last seen i didnt know what to do but i kept seeing him anyway. the guy i seen before him texted me calling me a player. and saying ohh get in their with my bestfriend and then abusive ones again. so i havent seen his friend in awhile nor him. it really hurts knowing theres guys out there like that. disrespectful, and just hurts girls for a living. i really do hope that i see his friend again as we got really close.

By

Katherine

By Sonia

Why do we have to lose everything that we have always been holding onto, after everything that we’ve been through together..?

I kept thinking that this loneliness, this sadness, this.. emptiness would be gone if I kept you by my side. But now, I realize that even though something is near you.. they feel.. distant. Was it because I was forcing them to continue staying by my side? Was it because.. because you don’t feel the way I wanted you too. Was it because.. was it because I was too selfish to realize what you truly felt? Was it because.. I was always focusing on my feelings, that I didn’t even have the time to consider what YOU felt? Or was it because.. you saw right through me..?

I thought that this love was our destiny. I thought that you would always stay by my side because.. I felt something connect between us when we first met.. All I ever wanted for us to be happy, but I guess things wasn’t like the way it was before..

I just wanted to say.. that even after all we’ve been through, you thought me something special. Even though our love didn’t last, I truly realized how it felt like to have a true love… The last thing I ever received from you was your last smile… and the first and last letter you gave to me..

“Dear Scarlett,
I am sitting in my room, writing this letter. Although, I’m not the type to write, I’d rather say it here rather that in your face because.. I’d rather not see that tears on your face. You might already know what I’m about to say, but.. please forgive me. I couldn’t give you everything you wanted, and I feel pathetic that I couldn’t.. In the times we’ve spent there were times when you truly smiled, and times when I saw those fake smiles.. To tell you the truth, I hated myself every time you had to force yourself.. I just wanted to tell you that you didn’t have to force yourself.. It didn’t matter to me whoever you were, but I guess.. I just didn’t want to see you this way..”

I stopped and tears came out of my eyes. I wasn’t forcing myself.. maybe telling myself to do so, was like that.. but those times, I wasn’t mad or sad.. I was overjoyed because I’ve always wanted this moment to come.. I wanted to treasure you forever.. But now you’re gone..

” We’ve been together for so long.. but, we both know our relationship changed after all those years. We changed.. and in you heart, I think you realized it too. Maybe the time together, got us to realize that we needed some time apart. You might think that this will be a couple of weeks and a couple of months.. but.. I don’t know. Every time we fought, I hated myself for it. Somehow, even though we loved each other, we lost that magical bond that kept us together. I know that sounds like an excuse, but please forgive me when I say that I didn’t mean to fall in love with someone else.”

I stopped for a moment. Repeating that sentence in my head. “Please forgive me when I say that I didn’t mean to fall in love with someone else.” Although this letter was never unopened.. and even though that was a year ago, it still hurt.

” I’ll understand if you never want to talk to me again, just as I’ll understand if you tell me that you hate me. Part of me hates me, too. Even though you may not want to hear it, I want you to know that you’ll always hold a special part in my heart. You’re the perfect girl, you’re kind and gentle, but more than that.. you’re the first girl I ever truly loved. And no matter what the future brings, you always will be, and I know that yours and my life is better for it.

I’m sorry
-Luke”

And with that, the letter ended.

The hardest part of being broken is moving on with your life though you’re miserable inside. the excruciating pain will be a torture for each and every passing day. it’s hard to live like your normal self again, because all you could think about is the pain of losing someone you dearly love….and most painful? is…losing him because of somebody else. no soothing words could compensate the pains……every waking moment without him is a constant reminder that he’s no longer yours…

I broke up with you once and I still loved you. And it was more painful than I ever thought.

I thought I could get over you quickly by blocking communications with you, and ignoring you. But when you sent that text, I thought you cared, but you wanted ME to make the first moves to talk to you again. Now why would I put my time and effort into that, knowing I’m going to get a response that will fuel my with anger??

So yeah you cared, but you only cared because you wanted me to message you to somehow make it better for you, am I right? I can only assume from past experience. I know how self absorbed you are, you only cared about YOUR feelings. Not mine. You pretended to care about my feelings, at the time we were going out. I fell for the illusion. I loved you so much that I just wanted you to be happy, because that made me so happy! And when you were the slightest bit sad I got so, so sad. I was always overwhelmed in emotion for you, because I loved you. You don’t deserve my love, and I don’t deserve to be put in overwhelming emotions of pain because of you. My heart literally feels like it has disappeared. An empty hole in my heart.

So I ignored you. It’s been about 3 months we have completely ignored each other. And after the holidays, of having a complete break from you, I saw you again at school. You had changed once again, another piercing, different haircut, and oh my you looked like you had even lost weight. I guess that’s because you’re not over at my house being fed a lot of food. I fed you so much because I knew you didn’t eat much at home, and I wanted you to be healthy, not sick. When I think of those moments when I gave you food and watched you eat, you were so cute. It made me feel special knowing I was caring for you. And I thought you appreciated what I did, but you didn’t.
Every time I walked past you at school, sat behind you in class, heard your voice and watched you walk, it bought so many emotions. But the biggest emotion, was pure sadness. I was in so much pain, that even the slightest looks at you would put me on the verge of crying. Tears would well up on the brims of my eyes, I would start hyperventilating and my body would start to shake a little, I was nervous you would see my pain. Even if you did see my pain, you wouldn’t care. Never have never will.

When you were going out, you only gave me affection when i gave it to you first, after an argument we had and I said “you never show me affection first (holding hands etc. etc.) it’s always me doing it first!” and you said “okay I will do it before you do” but you took a while to remember that that’s what you had to do. Then at this point in the relationship I was thinking “Maybe I’m forcing him to show me affection.” And I was always so doubtful of your love for me. Then I thought “maybe he does love me, just not enough to want to hug me first, to make the first moves” because he was just…so lazy. He’d always tell me he was too tired to see me, or he had to do things at home which he could have done ages ago. That made me sad, because I was always tired from work and school but I still made the effort to see him because I wanted to!! I loved him. So much.

As I am writing this now I am more and more accepting the fact that you just don’t care about me. The illusions has worn off. And I have now little hope that you would ever care. After we broke up I would keep myself awake at night crying and sobbing and crying more. I would think “One day he’ll come up to me and say “I still think about you”” I had hope that you might care. But I was letting myself fall for that illusion again, stupid me.

And every time you said you loved me, it was a lie! That’s what I now realize. You’ll never know what love is. All you did was take my love, but never gave it in return. That’s why you cried when we broke up, that’s why you cut yourself, because I wasn’t going to love you anymore. But I cried and cried every night, I wouldn’t stop thinking about you 24/7 after we broke up, I kept caring about you, I tried making things better by asking you to sit with me because I cared about your feelings, and I went through all this pain because I loved you and I realized, you never loved me or cared EVER! Not one bit. At least you had someone love you, and you didn’t even have to open your heart!! That whole year on our relationship, a waste of time.

I don’t know how you could not love or care about someone who loved you that much. You obviously didn’t have the same feelings for me as I had for you, which was real love. I had passion for you. Maybe I was just a girl to you, who happened to care about you.

I remember the times I would ask you to come over, just to watch TV with me or talk to me. I loved it so much, thinking about it makes me cry, like right now, tears so much tears, never ending tears. You held my hand, I cuddled you, I didn’t want you to leave my side, that made me want to cry. It felt like you cared about me, that you loved me. Maybe you did at that one time? Just a little bit? Or you may have been STARTING to care? Why did it take you so long?? Why is it so easy for you, to not care? To not open your heart?

I might have been able to put up with your flaws if I knew you cared. But they wouldn’t have mattered so much if you loved and cared about me, the way I did for you.

We fought so much, I hated it. It always made me cry. You were always jealous for no reason, like your jealousy was trying to tell me you didn’t want me anymore. Your flaws made me angry, you were always ignorant or lazy about something. I did nothing to betray your love. Never even THOUGHT about any other guy, I loved you. I only had feelings for you, you were my love, the one I wanted to be with when I died, I wanted to be the only one who cared for you. I loved you so much, so, so much. And when I think about it, I still care about you. And it sucks. You don’t deserve to be happy after all the hurt you put me through. You don’t deserve to be cared for, because you don’t care back. You don’t deserve friends, family, anyone. You’re horrible. So, so horrible. You tricked me, without really trying or intending, and I fell for it, hard. And I hate it and I want to live without having any feelings for you, and they will go away soon, I am still waiting for the right guy to love me.
Why couldn’t YOU love me? we’d both be happier if you loved me. But you like it better this way. You will never know what love is and how to love. You will never open your heart, because you’re scared to get hurt. Yet I was not scared, I opened my heart because I couldn’t help it and I wanted to experience love, and you seemed perfect for it at the time.
Oh well. Even after all my hatred for you, I still cry at night thinking of you and I say to myself,

“I wish only happiness to him, for it makes me happy.”

By Tek

By Racheal

In 3rd grade I met the guy of my dreams. His name was Tristan. We were at the same school for 3 years but then went different ways for middle school. Just before Christmas in 7th grade we got back in touch. We talked and emailed and finally I realized that I was in love with him. I grabbed the chance and told him in a long letter. He was shocked. Partially because no one had ever done something like that for him and partly because he had no idea how strong my feelings for him were.
He became my boyfriend and we dated for 2 1/2 months. Then one day I got an email saying he needed some time to think all this out. I was crushed.
About a month later he called me saying he was ready for us to move forward again. I was ecstatic.
We dated again for 2 1/2 months. Then one day he said his mom was putting a lot of stress on him to forget about me and move on with his life. He hated to do it but he broke up with me again.
I never stopped thinking about him and I wrote him letters and poems and all sorts of stuff.
Finally one day he told me that he couldn’t do this anymore. He couldn’t keep lying to his mom and to me.
He let go of me.
I didn’t let go of him.
About a week ago he emailed me saying he had gotten my emails.

I don’t know whether to be his friend or what. I’m only 13 and everyone says I’m too young for love. Is there an age limit on love?????
Please comment! I need help. I started cutting myself after he broke up with me and I haven’t been able to stop.
My email is freemustang12@gmail.com. Please help me!!

By Rona

After a year, something happened. He saw a picture that a guy is holding my waist. And he is my close friend since elementary life. A brother to me. But he didn’t listen to me. He thought I cheated, he thought I played. But I Didn’t at all.. So sad.. Then he broke up with me like nothing happened. Like in just one snap he forgot everything about us. Our Happy moments

And then I still didn’t give up. He came back to me. We got back together, but something is missing. Or should I say are missing. Love and trust. It’s not 100% anymore. We always fight, misunderstood each other. Now, I am thinking that he’s sick and tired of me. They’re just using me. Tripping on me. I don’t know what to do my heart is so sad. I feel so alone and unloved Someone is trying to ruin our relationship and he doesn’t care at all. And even if it’s his family he isn’t reacting. He doesn’t speak. He’s not standing for our relationship. My life is so sad. Everyday goes by, no one cares for me. No one loves me. No one appreciate my efforts That’s the story of my life. Sad, useless, worthless and alone